Farewell....for now.

I have decided to put to bed Jumping Through Hoops for now to focus on my travel blog:

http://way-to-wayfare.blogspot.com/

Please stop by and check it out.

Thanks for reading. Mwah xx

Productivity: Low

Today has been nothing short of a nightmare. I have already been on no less than FOUR bus journeys. Two of these were as a result of me going to the supermarket this morning without my house keys and then having to go to Ollie's studio in Walworth to pick up his. My boyfriend now thinks I'm a forgetful scatterbrain. Bus journeys in London have the potential to be hell on earth - particularly during half term when throngs of screeching kids descend upon the buses and somehow claim the territory as their own. By the time I got home my nerves were in shreds and for a moment I considered giving up the lent experiment for the small pleasure of having a nice Marlboro Light and a glass of wine on the balcony.

I am actually beginning to think that abstaining from cigarettes and alcohol is not affecting my stress levels too much - I think this morning would have stressed me out regardless of the amount of artficial mood-enhancers in my lungs/veins - I'm just having to find new ways to unwind. For example, today I decided that half an hour laying on the sofa under a blanket and watching Tribe would be a perfect remedy. It was.

So my first day off in ages has been much less productive than I thought it would be. Oh well xx

The Lent Experiment

So yesterday was pancake day, and I completely forgot until the late afternoon once in the midst of essay hell and it was too late to haul-ass to Sainsbury's to buy pancake mix. This is a total shame as it is one of my favourite days of the year. Not only because you get to eat copious amounts of pancakes (yum) but you also get to stuff your face without feeling guilty. It is traditionally the day in which you prepare for the period of self-denial known as Lent.

Last year I gave up chocolate for Lent. Unfortunately this ended about a week in after I completely forgot and baked a whole bunch of chocolate chip cookies. Ooops. The year before I gave up caffeine which only resulted in me being a nightmarish creature - I think just about everybody was offering to buy me coffee just to put an end to my murderous mood. However, in 2010 I have decided to step up my game a little and give up cigarettes AND alcohol for the forty day lent period. I have been trying to give up cigarettes for about three years and even after my most successful attempt that I began on New Years' Eve, I have found myself succumbing to the temptation of the foul-smelling, evil, wonderful, beautiful, disgusting habit. So I am hoping that if I can get through these forty days, I will be able to kick it forever. Also, I have been drinking moderately heavily pretty much solidly since the age of 22, so it would be good to give my body a rest also.

As I am always partial to a good experiment, I yesterday made a list of all of my physical, mental and emotional characteristics, so that I can see if any of them improve as a result of this period of abstinence. I have two things that I must try to do during this period. 1. Not give into temptation under any circumstances. 2. Not replace cigarettes and alcohol with food. I will be keeping a daily journal of my progress, snippets of which I will add into the blog. So wish me luck!

Also, in an act of support, Ollie has decided to give up meat for 40 days which Im sure will also be very challenging. We walked past the hog roast stand in Dulwich this morning and I could see him salivating. I think I will need to take him out for a great big steak at Easter xx

Anti-Valentines

So Sunday morning Ollie and I got up before it was light for our super-early drive back to Southampton. Our prediction that most people would be tucked up having Valentines breakfast in bed whilst listening to power ballads was right - the roads were clear and we made it back here in under two hours. The journey was ace, although it soured when once we got out of London and lost the signal of the radio station we were listening to and had to endure cliched love songs and sickening dedications on Radio 2.

Valentines Day has never really been something that either of us have done, I think the most into it we ever got was when Ollie sent some flowers to the house when he was touring in the US, but ordinarily we try to have something of an anti-Valentines. This year was no exception. Ou Valentines day was spent in my parents' local country pub celebrating Papa's birthday and before heading back to their house to eat Chinese food and the coffee-flavoured birthday cake I spent the afternoon making for them. Today Ollie and I went to visit my Nan for more food and a HELL of a lot of tea (she sure knows how to make it though, so I can't complain). I'm currently camped out on the sofa at Ollie's parents' house, reading yesterday's Sunday Times supplmements and hanging out with my favourite furry friend Baxter.



There's something nice about occasionally getting out of London for the weekend and spending time with family. It's definitely worth forsaking partaking in the commercial exploitation and pointlessness that is Valentines day for xx

Happy News

Am also very pleased to tell you all about the engagement of my dear friends Matt and Adrienne. Very exciting news xx

Dry Day

I am writing this blog possibly at the most tired I have ever been. You know when you get so tired that your eyes droop and twitch and you can't formulate sentences? That, right now, is me. I can pinpoint exactly where this fatigue has come from: two weeks of late nights and more specifically, choosing to meet Ollie and Matt in the Beehive yesterday after work instead of going home and sleeping before my double shift today. So I guess I have nobody to blame but myself.

It is now 8.30 and I fully intend to be bathed and in bed before 10pm. And on a Saturday night. Although in my normal universe this seems unthinkable, in the parallel universe I currently inhabit, this sounds nothing short of blissful. I have a Lush bath bomb and some clean pyjamas and that is all I need right now. I'm already swimming in alcohol so another day of drinking may actually tip me over the edge.

Some Very Sad News

When I first came to London and I was skint I took a walk down Bond Street, pausing by the Alexander McQueen window and promising myself I would one day buy this dress.



RIP Alexander McQueen - an amazing designer and true Londoner xx

Balancing Act

Tallulah Bankhead once said "It's the good girls who write the diaries because the bad girls don't have the time." Now no offence to Tallulah (who is one of my all-time heroes), but sometimes being good will restrict your time also. And sometimes the combination of both good and bad behaviour can be responsible for neglecting your diary/journal/blog. The last couple of weeks this combination has been my downfall and led to me doing no writing whatsoever. Confused? Let me explain.

Since the whole ordeal of Christmas became officially over, it has become increasingly difficult to return to a new routine. I still can't put my finger on why this is, but I have found myself becoming quite frustrated about how I didn't have everything in my life completely under my own control. To combat this, I began embarking on completely impossible projects to attempt to turn myself into an organised human being. This luckily came to a halt before I went completely insane when a friend told me that in fact nobody is completely in control of their own life and that I was just the same as most other people who feel like they are losing it. And these words were coming from the most Superwoman-esque person I know.

So then I decided that I was just actually going to chill out a bit and not worry. Which was great until things began to pile up when I neglected stuff I had to do in favour of the pub or an old movie marathon and I started running really low on money as I hadn't found a part-time job. Then it occurred to me that that the most difficult thing for me to do was to find the middle ground. I have always kind of been this all-or-nothing person who is completely unable to do anything in moderation. This is why my weight continually fluctuates, why I cannot be a social smoker and why I often change my mood every hour on the hour. So in order to combat this I have been attempting to balance one action with another. For example, eat a pizza but cycle to uni the next day. Chain smoke at the pub, no smoking for two days afterwards. Spend loads of money on a dress, don't go out for dinner for the whole of next week.

So am planning on living by this but it sometimes becomes difficult when life gets in the way. For example, the last week has been a crazy hectic time of uni, work, essays and various social engagement which include over-eating, chain smoking and over-indulging in inebriating substances. And to compensate I have been completely virtuous when it comes to managing the home, have been reading a whole bunch of books in preparation for my dissertation and have been cycling back and forth to New Cross in arctic weather conditions. So THIS is why I haven't been writing. It doesn't even make much sense to me, so I doubt it will to many of you.

In other news, am planning a trip to South America for 2012. I know it's a really long way away but it will cost £4,000 and I need to SAVE xx

Weekend Ahead

So tonight I am going to put on my dancing shoes and go on a night out for the first time since getting back from Holland. Essay deadlines + lack of funds + home improvement projects = hermit Gempop. As soon as I finish this I am going to rifle through my wardrobe and find something suitable to wear.

In other news, I have a training day tomorrow and the lovely Adrienne is flying in from Toronto once again which is very exciting. Also I am in the mood for some serious cooking and baking, so will be making everybody goodies from my favourite cookbook xx

In a Sense We're Exactly the Same

Tonight I will be dancing to all of these:







Like I used to in my bedroom in '97 xx

Hooray for Gingers

Last night I dyed my hair and it went bright red. I looked awful - pale and about five years older (shudder). So this morning I had to undertake a major rescue attempt on my poor ravaged locks. So I put on a beret and hotfooted it to the nearest chemist to see what I could do to make myself look less like a safety match. I decided that a light-mid ash brown would be the best option to counteract the brightness and it worked. Kind of. I now have hair that is the colour of merlot, and although it is still too dark for my tragically pale skin tone, I am starting to get used to it (despite the fact that Mike greeted me with "Hello Goth - not letting that one slide).

Went for some little drinks at the Union with Sam, Mike, Jen Ven and her friend Louise and then for a yummy and cheap dinner at The Thailand in New Cross before braving the baltic bus journey back home. Jen is going to Borneo and not only am I super jealous, I'm going to miss her LOADS xx

Centre of....what??

So today was a struggle. My shiny new blackberry decided to play a little trick on me and disable its alarm, which made me sleep in until 9.15. This is unfortunately the time that I have to leave to be in time for a ten o'clock lecture as the bus service from East Dulwich to New Cross is not that great (TFL - take note: There are indeed Goldsmiths students living in SE22. And not just me - I met three third years who live on Lordship Lane). So I missed my Africa lecture and instead decided to accompany Ollie to the emergency room at Moorfields Eye Hospital. So it may sound a little ridiculous, but we stopped in Pret in Finsbury Square for a little spot of lunch on the way (the eye emergency is not a real 'emergency' etc) because we skipped breakfast and also because Ollie injured himself skateboarding with John Allen at the weekend and cannot far/fast enough.

Emergency rooms are all full of crazies. Groups of people sat on those little plastic chairs which are wayyyy too close together complaining about everything from the waiting time to the lack of Diet Coke in the vending machine. It all smells of generic cleaning fluid and piss. After a spending a little while there trying to read my book whilst ignoring the guy opposite me who was shouting across the room at his wife despite the fact that she was deaf, I had to leave my broken boy there to get home in time to receive some deliveries. He arrived back a few hours later feeling he had completely wasted his afternoon. I put the kettle on.

Also today I discovered from reading The Londonist website, that the actual geographical centre of London is close to Lambeth North Underground Station, which is a mere 4.6 miles from my flat. Closer than when I lived in Hampstead, Golders Green and Forest Hill. The only more 'central' flat I lived in was when I was so central I could practically smell the tulips in Russell Square. I suddenly feel as though I am not so much in the periphery as I originally thought xx

Painty-Paint

My apologies for not writing a single thing last week - sadly the essays I had to do momentarily took over my life. Unless it was regarding psychiatry in colonial Africa, the boundaries of the human in medieval literature or the Indian resistance movement - I was not giving it the time of day. The last essay was completed on Thursday and I am now a happy girl once again. I even gave myself a little day off on Friday as a reward for all of my hard work. I spent the majority of the day in my pyjamas watching lovely films and eating ice cream. It is a great source of annoyance that all of my days cannot be spent like this, although I would eventually get bored with it. Anyway, my first me-day of the year was a good one.

Ollie and I spent the majority of the weekend undertaking tasks relating to our flat. We have decided that it is indeed time to step up our game and dive into some serious home improvement projects. I am one of those people who can gladly spend all day looking at paint charts and fabric samples. Reading the Habitat catalogue is my idea of fun. However, the difference between playing interior designer and playing full-on painter and decorator are very different, as I have learned today. Spending five hours applying (beautiful) olive paint to my living room wall has left me with a bad back and paint-encrusted hair and nails it took a VERY long shower to remove. However, it will all be worth it soon when we can have a complete overhaul of every wall. After all, there is nothing more depressing than magnolia.

Have just read this and realised that I need some drunken debauchery quite soon to balance out all of my domesticated tasks.

Aside from this, we had a lovely Saturday lunch at The Plough in East Dulwich (love that place) with the Harcourt-Smiths and spent much of the afternoon playing with adorable little Anna. Have also been reading The Motorcycle Diaries, which I cannot seem to put down xx

What is in My Purse?

Debit Card, very old and scratched.

Oyster Card, very shiny and new as Ollie broke the last one when I lent it to him.

Loads of little Eindhoven bus tickets from when we stayed there over new year.


A train ticket from Eindhoven to Amsterdam.


A tube ticket from Heathrow dated Boxing Day when I met my Dad from the airport.

A piece of letterhead paper from the Millennium Hotel in Jakarta with my uncle and aunt's email addresses written on in blue pen.

A train ticket from Farringdon to Peckham Rye on my last day at UKSIF.

Several other train tickets for New Cross Gate, Old Street, East Dulwich, Peckham Rye and Farringdon.

A very old and frayed provisional license I got in May 2002. Still can't drive.

A key-card for the Premier Inn in Bristol.

My credit card.

A business card for Panther Cars in East Dulwich.

My Goldsmiths student ID. I look totally fucked off in the photo.

Boots Advantage Card.

Aeroplan Airmiles Card.

A receipt for a skinny latte from Costa Coffee in New Oxford Street.

A receipt for a very expensive and sub-par lunch I had in Calais.

A receipt for drinks at the Old Thameside Inn with Sam and Brock on a VERY cold day in December.

Two Sainsburys receipts - one for cigarettes and one for organic houmous. Now I am only permitted to be addicted to one of those.

65 pence.

And lastly, a very special Angkor Pass from my trip to Cambodia. To remind me that with not smoking I will have more money to travel.

Not OK to Hunt the Fox

OK, so I know I had a little rant about fox hunting a little while ago, but I'm going to do it again. There is something seriously wrong with people who hunt innocent animals FOR FUN. OK, so I know that foxes are pests and need to be dealt with, but I really object to a bunch of red-coated toffs jollying around the countryside cheering when they've terrified and torn to shreds a sentient being.

If you feel strongly about this issue PLEASE look at the stance of the different political parties before voting at the next general election. It is strongly rumoured that the Conservatives will seek to support the Countryside Alliance and overturn the ban on fox hunting. This is terrifying. More info to follow on this once I have found something concrete xx

Where I Belong

I can't tell you how much I've enjoyed this week of being at home - of course I've bitched about it relentlessly, but actually it's been wonderful. For the first time since I moved in I have actually had some time to enjoy my flat and to give it a bit of love and attention. Last night Matt, Viv and Victoria all came over for dinner after a long day of moving Matt's stuff into the new flat, and after they left Ollie and I sat in the middle of our living room floor and made plans to create the most amazing living room where all of our friends could come, hang out, eat, drink and be happy. If what they say on the news is true and we are moving into a colder world, I am going to make sure that all the time I will be spending indoors is going to be lovely xx

Cabin Fever is Beginning to Set In

OK, so this has officially been the most uneventful week ever. I have tried really really hard not to procrastinate today, but alas there were distractions from my work. This afternoon I trekked all the way across the street to look at Matt and Adrienne's new flat. It was very, very empty. No furniture at all and, more importantly, no Adrienne as she is still in Canada. However, it's a great place and just across the road from ours so we have a couple of new Dulwich neighbours.

Seeing somebody else's new home has spurred me on a little to make a couple of little purchases to brighten up my own. At present we are still awaiting the HUGE corner couch from Habitat (which is going to be a wonderful setting for the many League of Gentlemen marathons I plan on having with my travel chums) so I might do a little online shopping for some lampshades and cushions. Interior design, by the way, is not the new rock'n'roll, it's just that I have been deprived of a social life this week and am becoming somewhat domesticated. Next week I will get drunk on Moscow Mules and fall off my heels, just to create some balance.

In other news: Ollie is playing a gig in Kings Cross tonight which I am sadly missing due to my essay-shaped ball and chain, I have now been one week without smoking and I skidded on the ice on Barry Road a grand total of 7 times today. Hooray xx

Procrastinating #642

Oh dear

I am supposed to be working on three essays but there are so many distractions. Tomorrow I really have to knuckle down and eradicate the following from my consciousness: YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, cookery books, my new Ministry of Sound Electric 80s CD, the fridge, Dulwich Mum blog, travel guides about the Transsiberian Railway and Vogue. At least for tomorrow.

Last year when I was supposed to be revising for my exams I went on a total baking frenzy and spent hours making some hideously complicated but absolutely delicious cupcakes and have been known even to resort to hardcore cleaning in order to avoid work. Perhaps I should make it a news year's resolution - STOP PROCRASTINATING!! xx

A Minute to Myself

I hope you'll forgive me, but I'm not going to go into detail about my christmas period. I've written it and deleted it about five times now and wayyy too much happened for me to put it into words. Besides, I don't think words could do it justice. One day. Just not now.

(I've given up smoking and my patience is low)

London is a very beautiful and snowy place at the moment and I am currently in a 'love' phase with it once again despite the fact that I have no footwear entirely suitable for navigating its icy paths (need some spikes or snow boots or something). We had to wait a bit longer than the rest of the country for the snow to arrive, and I spent lots of time on Facebook and Twitter last night enjoying everybody's updates but looking wistfully out of the window at a very dry garden. However, at about 11.30pm the snowflakes began to fall and when I woke up this morning there was a beautiful blanket of snow in the car park and garden outside my window, untouched except for a few fox trails.

I actually made it into central London today as I just had to go to SOAS and do some work on my Africa essay. Sam and I managed to put in about three hours of work until we got distracted by the increasingly heavy snowfall and gathered up our hats, scarves and gloves excitedly yelling "SNOW!!" Much to the disgust of some particularly grumpy students on the bank of desks opposite. We went out into Russell Square and walked (skidded) all the way to Covent Garden. Then we stopped to get the best type of fuel for a snow day - Crussh soup.

And I found £20 on the pavement. Result.

I love the way that snow days bring out everybody's sense of fun. OK, buses terminate miles from your house and it's bitingly cold and the pavements are slippy, but who can resist picking up a little snowball and throwing it at a neighbour or helping the local kids with their snowman? My bus kicked me off at Peckham Rye this evening and I walked all the way back to East Dulwich having conversations with people along the way. Would this happen on a normal bog-standard grey London day?

Some Time to Reflect

I have decided that today is my 'free day' - a day where I will not consider work or essays but sort out all of the little jobs in my house that I have been intending to do since about mid-November. Therefore I have also resolved to delay the writing of my blog until tomorrow. However, I have decided to compile a little photographic round-up of 2009 to get myself all nice and nostalgic. Enjoy xx


Seeing in 2009 at Ivans Retreat, Brixton with Claire, Ollie and Will - January 2009


Mette, Jessie, Beatrice, Nic and Myself at Vincent Kane's Show at 93 Feet East, Brick Lane - February 2009


Myself and Jade on a very drunken night at Ye Olde Axe, Hackney - February 2009


My favourite neighbour Samantha Freds and myself enjoying the snow (skive) day in the Horniman Gardens, Forest Hill - February 2009


Celebrating Laura's Birthday in Brockley - January 2009


In Pompeii - April 2009


Recreating an old picture outside of the Colosseum in Rome - April 2009


Hannah, Jade, Cas, Laura, Laura and Myself outside of the Reichstag in Berlin - April 2009


Sam and I on the day we skived our lecture and had a renegade picnic in the courtyard of Chesterman Halls in New Cross - March 2009


One of the Foxberry Road House Parties - March 2009


At the Temple of Literature in Hanoi - June 2009


My BFI Leaving Drinks in Fitzrovia - May 2009


Ollie's Birthday BBQ at our old flat in Forest Hill - June 2009


Beatrice, Sam, Nic, Mette and Myself at Sam's Birthday Party in New Cross - May 2009


In Sorrento - April 2009


Sam and I at Angkor Wat, Siem Reap, Cambodia - June 2009


Brock and I in a tuk-tuk in Phnom Penh, Cambodia - June 2009


In Saigon - June 2009


In Hoi An - June 2009


Jen, Nic, Sam and I in Ha Long Bay, Vietnam - June 2009


Serena, Jen and I at an outdoor screening of Slumdog Millionaire in Peckham Rye - September 2009


Sam, Mette, Myself and Laura at the wedding of Nic and Tom, Tunbridge Wells - August 2009


Ollie and I with the Bride and Groom at the wedding of Ryan and Caroline, Romsey, Hampshire - July 2009


With Rowena at the wedding of Sarah-Jane and Chris on the Southbank - July 2009


In Bangkok - July 2009


Our mis-matched Halloween in New Cross - October 2009


At the engagement party of Simon and Natalie in Bristol - November 2009


Flash Fiktion gig at the Brixton Windmill - November 2009


With Sam and Laura at I Love the 90s in Islington - October 2009


Arsie's Visit to London - September 2009


In Amsterdam - December 2009


Ollie, Myself and Sam in Bruges - December 2009


Brock's Visit to London - November 2009


David Bowie Night at Feeling Gloomy, Islington - December 2009


In Paris for my 26th Birthday - November 2009


And finally... where 2009 ended - in the hot-tub at Mike's parents' house in Eindhoven, Holland - December 2009