The Best Breakfast

This arrived this morning. Now I just want to make breakfast all of the time xx

The Friday Feeling

Yesterday was such a completely unexciting day that last night when I sat down to write my blog, I actually fell asleep. So I've figured that actually I shouldn't be so hard on myself as there is a fatal flaw to blogging: When my life is being interesting enough to write about I never have time (or am not sober enough - see disasterous last post), and when I do have time to write, nothing exciting has happened. Maybe I am not, after all, the worst blogger in the world. I am just spare time-deprived.

So yesterday was truly dull. Really. I went to work and then I went home. Wednesday was much more fun - went to a free screening of The Wizard of Oz at MoreLondon with Sam and Matt. It rained, I became numb from sitting on the concrete, but it was all good. So much so that I am planning on going back next Wednesday to watch Strictly Ballroom, probably sans Ollie as kitsch Australian comedies are not his thing - how is this possible?

So today is my last day at Fight for Sight. I had decided to make one of the lovely flourless chocolate cakes from the Daring Bakers recipes, but in my shattered state last night it all went horribly wrong. So am at work (currently on lunch) trying to tie up all of the loose ends at my desk. I am sorry to be leaving as I've had lots of fun times here, but I am also glad to be going back to Uni and the world of lie-ins, midweek drinking binges and 'study' time in the Goldsmiths student union.

Will I ever be ready to give up student life? Probably not. For now I will just click my office-friendly sensible ruby slippers and return home.



You're out of the woods
You're out of the dark
You're out of the night
Step into the sun
Step into the light

Share and Share Alike

It feels good to get things off your chest. Especially with friends and a glass of wine. It reminds you that you aren't always completely mental and that actually...you are fine.

It's good to know.

For the first time in ages I am a happy drunk and not a distressed drunk. I just realised though that a cheese sandwich before bed is probably a mistake. Expect a blog about my weird dreams tomorrow.

Going to get tattoos soon - yay.

Life = not as bad as I sometimes think xx

Post-Meltdown Analysis

I think whatever has been bugging me all this time has passed. This problem started exactly two months, two weeks and two days ago - on my return from South East Asia. When on the plane from Hong Kong back to London I thought that I would settle seamlessly back into my life after my month of travelling and that everything would be OK. Instead, I came home to find sleepless nights and stress and just a feeling of being completely lost. How could things ever be the same after the month I had just had? And aside from this nagging feeling that I didn't belong anywhere, I couldn't find a way to fix it.

I feel like this problem has not necessarily been the root of all of the difficulties of the last few months, but has certainly affected how I deal with things. I found that when faced with a dilemma, I could no longer rationalise it as before and deal with it. I would just become frustrated and stressed that my life was no longer focused around having a good time on another continent. It sounds completely ridiculous but the bump back down to earth was enormous - and from a really great height.

Whilst away on my trip, I had my feelings hurt by a friend, and still cannot find a way in my head to sort this out. And I know that since I've been back I've been drinking too much, saying stupid and hurtful things, indulged in completely selfish and self-centered behaviour, been scatty and disorganised, had a short temper and have, at times, been completely impossible. All I can do is apologise and promise that I am on the mend. The answer is not to disregard the feelings of others around me, and I am sorry that it has taken me so long to figure this out.

I am moving forward. Just one little tiny step at a time. If anybody else ever feels as though they're having the same problem, try reading this. It helps:


Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.


With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Gemma the Wino

Oh dear, drunk again. If I spent as much time being productive as I did drinking wine I could probably take over the world or something (of course with Sam's help - I am no good at reading maps).

My brain has turned to pate and I am unable to write (Saigon syndrome, anyone?) so in my hungover Saturday morning pinot-soaked haze, I have selected some of my favourite drunken pictures to show that not only do I like a tipple, I indulge far and wide.

Mwah xx




DRUNK IN LONDON:




DRUNK IN MONTREAL:




DRUNK IN TOKYO:




DRUNK IN BERLIN:




DRUNK IN PHNOM PENH:

The Worst Blogger in the World

So this week I have spectacularly crashed and burned from last week. It's not been quite as exciting, but it's quite nice to be at home. Ollie's been working at the studio like a crazy person and hasn't even been getting back until after I've gone to bed so I've been curling up on the couch, surfing the internet looking for pretty new things for the flat.

I love love love the flat but it is still in utter chaos. There are loads of boxes which are still sitting unpacked by the side of the couch. I really need to get stuck into these, but I kind of want some amazing storage options before doing so. Need a big shoe rack for my ever expanding footwear collection and a HUGE bookcase (ideally a big library-style one with a ladder, but I know we don't have the room).

I didn't realise that buying your own place is such a drain on your finances. What's depressing as I am working really long weeks and still recovering from the enormous amounts of money we had to shell out just to get to this stage. I always like being poor and find it a bit of a challenge - you know, shopping on a budget etc etc, but I feel sad that I have this beautiful new flat and can't go out and buy loads of stuff to make it perfect. We decided to paint the bedroom, but it kind of stopped there when we realised that the beautiful ivory light-reflecting paint we loved was £60 a tin and went nowhere.

I think my interior design days are a long way off yet.

So as flat is currently bland and blah, I've been putting off inviting everybody for cocktails, although I know I will need to do this soon so I don't run the risk of looking completely antisocial. Mojitos, I think. We do have an amazing mint plant on the windowsill and some Cuban rum in the freezer which needs to be used up.

Long Time, No Blogging

Oh dearie me. It has been a long time since I last did any writing. In my last blog I had such good intentions to sit down and write and instead had one of the busiest weeks I have had in a long, long time.

Monday - Reunited with my friend Arsie. I met Arsie about 18 months ago in the girls' dorm of a hostel I was staying at in Portland, Oregon. This was her first trip to London, which is all very exciting as I love it when visitors come to stay. I met her at the Sorriso Cafe next to that crazy building with the derelict lighthouse on top where she was sitting with Steven, a guy she met on the Couchsurfing website. After a little while here, we took the very uneventful number 63 back to Peckham Rye and then made out way to the Plough in East Dulwich for a pint and huge plate of bangers'n'mash. How trad.

Tuesday - I worked. There's no need to bore anybody with talk of that. It was not very excited. I was feeling completely knackered, so went straight home to crash on the couch and watch cookery programmes. I found out that Brock was flying into London on Thanksgiving weekend, so got very excited and researched how to make a kick-ass Thanksgiving dinner. Although may need the help of some actual Americans.

Wednesday - OMG went to Rococo to pick up some gorgeous chocolates for the goodie bags. Possibly the most beautiful shop in the world, although I really dislike going to Knightsbridge - always feel distinctly scruffy. A sigh of relief was had when I made it back to the slightly more comfortable surroundings east of Holborn and met Arsie, Steven, Matt and Josh at the Tay Do cafe in Kingsland Road. Amazing Vietnamese food for very little money. Crispy tofu with chilli and lemongrass and steamed rice.

Thursday - Possibly the worst day in a long time. I had to go all the way to Newbury to organise a charity clay pigeon shoot. Worked a thirteen hour day and walked in (collapsed through) my door at 11pm. Country people are fucking weird.

Friday - Went over to Notting Hill after work to have carpet picnic at Josh's flat. He's moving back to Australia so has no furniture and needs to use up all of the booze before he leaves. Who could resist such an invitation. Drank lots and went to the local pub for more bangers'n'mash.

Saturday - Back to Forest Hill for a Brazilian tea party at Alex and Jo's house for their little daughter Anna's first birthday. She may actually be the cutest little thing in the world. We feasted on black bean stew and cheese bread and drank many deliciously strong caipirinhas. By the time the evening rolled around, I could have quite easily slinked home and collapsed into a food-and-booze coma, however, went over to New Cross to see Sam, Laura and Mike in their new flat. Drank lots and lots of wine, sang and danced and walked all the way home with Ollie via Nunhead and a drunken trip to a shop to buy bread and crisps to make crisp sandwiches.

Sunday - Had to say goodbye to Arsie (sad times) so met her for Sunday lunch at Ivans Retreat in Brixton with Ollie and Sam. So sad she's gone home as have really enjoyed hanging out with her this week. I'm going to try and get to San Fran asap.

Sorry this has been a bit of a list of activities, I'm too tired to remember anything more personal than that. Looking forward to bed tonight. Super sleepy xx

Too Tired to Write, But Just One Thing...

OK, so I know I've been bad. My last blog entry was Sunday and it's now Wednesday. My friend Arsie from San Francisco is here from London and I've been having lots of fun and neglecting my blog. Tomorrow I fully intend to shun alcohol, restaurants and other distractions and write the blog. But before I sign off and retire to watch Oceans Eleven in bed, I have a little ironic story from today.

I had to go to Rococo in Motcomb Street today to pick up some gorgeous chocolates, so I topped up my Oyster at Monument Station. When I went to get my receipt (why pay yourself when you can expense it?) I found £4 in the change bit on the machine. So I thought I'd do a good deed and give some of the money away and bought a Big Issue off of this guy outside Harvey Nichols. After buying the chocs and getting back on the Tube, I discovered that he'd sold me a completely out of date copy with loads of pages ripped out.

I fully intend to go back tomorrow and punch him out.




P.S. I am not the violent type. I even feel better just having written something negative about him on the internet a la Mark Corrigan. I am now a picture of serenity.

What I Think About When I Think About Running

So today was the day of the event I have been dreading for some months: The Adidas Women's 5k Challenge.

OK so it's only 5k, but for chain-smoking, wine-swilling, cheese-eating, lazy arse me it may as well have been a marathon. I have done little training beyond a few runs around Peckham Rye and spent last night sipping Gavi from a plastic cup. I didn't even get an early night as I was farrrr too excited about reading Michael Palin's 'Pole to Pole' book that I picked up at the fete yesterday for 50p.

The great thing about this particular race is that it is meant as a fun run and has little competitive edge, so my lack of athletic prowess wasn't an issue. All types of women run and it is genuinely the taking part that counts. Whilst waiting for the race to start I chatted to a sixty-five year old Irish pensioner and a woman who was five months pregnant. Both were in great spirits and just hoping to raise as much money as they could for charity.

My chosen charity was Kidney Research UK, which is an excellent cause. My dear Grandfather suffered from chronic kidney problems in his later life and spent his last few years having dialysis three times a week. I managed to raise quite a small sum, but am pleased that it all goes towards the greater good. For more information on this charity, please visit here.

In the end, it was easier than I thought. Perhaps it was adrenaline, the thought of Grandad or just determination that got me through. I finished in 36 minutes, which although was 15 minutes slower than Jessica Ennis (who, btw looked fab) it is still something for me to be proud of. Mwah xx

Just Being Local

So much of my life focuses upon being in other parts of the world, sometimes I forget that I do have some quite wonderful things on my own doorstep. Of course, the joys of South East London will never persuade me to give up my increasingly expensive travel addiction (already costing up Coasteering trip to Northern Ireland for looming 26th birthday) but it is nice to know that in the times in between jetting off I can enjoy myself for very little money.

Last night, Ollie and I went walking around to see what nocturnal attractions there were in SE22 besides overpriced cocktails. We found an amazing little bring-your-own-booze Thai restaurant (that was full) and possibly the worst Indian restaurant in the world (which wasn't full but lost two customers after the curries turned up cold after a 50 minute wait). Despite the disasterous meal we learned a little bit more about our new neighbourhood.

This morning we embarked upon the weekly trip to the launderette, which is always an ordeal, but to make it better, we went for a lovely breakfast in Vintage Pretty's - a little cafe which looks like it could be a quaint country living room and serves up AMAZING food. Following that we took a little trip to a fete in Peckham Rye and bought chocolate and amazing sandwiches. Jen turned up - all the way from Tonbridge - and we watched...a dog show. This is something that only the English could come up with. There was most handsome dog, dog that looked most like its owner and....dogs in fancy dress. Quite a way to spend a Sunday afternoon, watching a poor golden retriever dressed in a Hawaiian shirt and being paraded round in front of all the other local dogs. Despite this being totally bizarre and somewhat wrong, it was quite a family fun-esque day.

The best part of the day was the last part - Serina, Jessie and James also joined us and we trekked over to the Cafe on the Rye to watch a free outdoor screening of Slumdog Millionaire. Sat on the grass with blankets and wine...and all for free. Lovely. And then for those of us who don't live in Kent, a short walk home.

Although these experiences do not match up to those you have when travelling, sometimes it is just nice to do something effortless and enjoy nice company.



Night all xx

Sexy Hair

OMG my hair smells amazing. I won't be able to stop sniffing myself all day xx

Just One More Thing....Lost in Saigon

I was speaking to Brock on FB chat today and he reminded me of the time he went 'missing' in Saigon.

Basically, we all went drinking at this backpacker's haunt down a Saigon back alley called Le Pub where they had $1 cocktails. After many, many, many, we all stumbled back to the hotel we were staying at shouting, quoting The Matrix, imitating each other's accents and generally making nuisances of ourselves along the way (I believe there is even video evidence of this somewhere...)

The next morning, Brock was supposed to meet Sam, Jen and I at this vegetarian cafe for breakfast and didn't show. The three of us were a bit worse for wear so didn't plan to do anything anyway and just kind of hung about, zombified. I think we even went to Brock's place around the corner to try and find him, but in our semi-drunk state made no sense to the girl on the desk.

Eventually, after seeing no sign of him for about six hours, we went back to his place with a digital camera and showed it to the lady (who already suspected we were either crazy or alcoholics) with a picture of Brock on the screen.

She laughed.
Pointed.
Laughed some more.

And then got him on the phone.

He was still in bed. Shell-shocked after a night of sharing with the worst English roommates ever.

I've just typed this and realised that the only people who will find humour in this story or even appreciate it were the ones who were there.

Oh well.

I'm not deleting it as I like it.

I HEART LE PUB.

Did Anybody Order an Optimist?...

So picture the scene: I wake up this morning to the early morning sunshine beaming in through the window, little birds sweep in and lift off my duvet and sing me a little song and little mice in hats and trousers help me get ready for work. Remind you of anything?



Of course, this didn't actually happen but I did wake up in the best mood this morning, which was a sharp contrast to yesterday when I scowled and stamped my feet through everything. I think the main reason for this sudden change is that I am finally free of the mystery illness which has plagued me since Monday morning.

I don't care that we're in a recession.
I don't care people in the City are a bunch of rude queue jumpers.
I don't care that I spent £15 in Lush and have no milk in the fridge. I smell ace.
I don't care that London buses never run on time.
I don't care that City of London are still needlessly drilling Botolph Lane early in the morning.

Of course, I am not through with caring about stuff in general and I'm sure by tomorrow my cynical self will have returned, and all of the above will get on my nerves, but now I will make the most of being smiley and carefree. Now is it too late to open the Prosecco? xx

Autumnal Blues

No wonder Londoners are so mardy. Yet again, the British summer has been shit. After the debacles of 2007 and 2008, we thought this might be the year that the glorious sunshine would return.

But NO.

This morning I walked out of the flat to grey skies, wind and, worst of all, RAIN. Autumn is here and the newspapers are forcasting lots of the dreaded rain and storms. So much for a hot September. I'll be putting my little summer dresses in storage before I've even taken them on a decent outing.

I should never have come to work today. I thought yesterday's day of languishing around on the sofa under the duvet would be enough to cure me of whatever mystery illness I picked up at a wedding on Sunday.

But NO.

I am sat at my desk, unable to concentrate or do a scrap of work. Everything seems so loud to my poor delicate ears. From the phone to the workmen digging up the road outside of my office. It's agony. I think it may be time to go home soon. Home to my big red couch and a cup of the magic lemon and ginger, perhaps to spend a couple of hours on Shopstyle choosing myself a new autumn wardrobe xx

For Anybody with a Cold

This is honestly the best cold-remedy I have ever had. It shits on Lemsip.

Put the kettle on and get your favourite mug. Grate a 1 inch piece of root ginger and the zest of half a lemon into the mug. Juice half a lemon and pour over the top. Add 2 tsp of honey and pour over boiling water. Add whisky if you're lucky enough to have any in the house.

A well-known recipe, I know, but it's the quantities that make it special.

By Ollie Thomas, the king of spice.



I've been feeling lousy all day and now have a brand new lease of life xx

When the Thrill of Blogging is Gone

I have tried and failed at writing several blogs. Sometimes I get bored. Sometimes other things get in the way. A mentor recently told me that I would find writing larger pieces a lot easier if I kept up a blog and recorded my daily thoughts. Practice, she said, would help me write better. I had a strong sense that this person who had kindly taken an interest in all of my unfinished blogs, was right.

There was the very first blog, started a very long time ago which was a disaster. My burnt fingers can't go into too much detail, but it involved a lot of ranting about a situation between me and another person. Unfortunately for me, this fell into his hands and he was less than impressed. This was enough to put me off blogging for a long time.

I started the first Jumping Through Hoops blog last year to give me a break from studying and to write about something other than history. However, the said studying along with working and travel planning got a bit too much and the blog fell into neglect.

Following that was my most successful attempt to date: my travel blog to record my trip around South East Asia, which was designed to be the basis of a future fictional piece. However, the blogging came to a very swift end due to unreliable internet connections and the allure of $1 margaritas in Saigon which rendered me a drunken mess for four days.

So I am going to have another attempt at blogging. It may not be good, interesting or coherent, but it will be useful to me. If others enjoy reading it, that's great too. I decided to keep the name 'Jumping Through Hoops', as that is exactly what I'm still doing, as I'm sure will become clear.

As well as general day-to-day blogging here, I am also planning to use the next few weeks to pull together all of the notes from the Hanoi - Bangkok adventure and turn them into something readable and, hopefully, publishable.

For the record, I still have the post-travel blues, so hopefully writing will help with those. I just miss being on the road, on the big adventure. Crossing the traffic, thunderstorms and lock-ins in Hanoi; kayaking and swimming in Ha Long Bay; dress fittings and beach parties in Hoi An; tunneling with Mr Ass, cinemas and extreme drunkenness in Saigon; learning about the past and finally finding Marmite in Phnom Penh; Angkor, cooking classes and the wonderful hospitality of Anna and Smiley in Siem Reap; and reunions, rainstorms and great Thai food in Bangkok.

But more than anything, my travel buddies. The ones who shared all of that. LY xx