Today has been nothing short of a nightmare. I have already been on no less than FOUR bus journeys. Two of these were as a result of me going to the supermarket this morning without my house keys and then having to go to Ollie's studio in Walworth to pick up his. My boyfriend now thinks I'm a forgetful scatterbrain. Bus journeys in London have the potential to be hell on earth - particularly during half term when throngs of screeching kids descend upon the buses and somehow claim the territory as their own. By the time I got home my nerves were in shreds and for a moment I considered giving up the lent experiment for the small pleasure of having a nice Marlboro Light and a glass of wine on the balcony.
I am actually beginning to think that abstaining from cigarettes and alcohol is not affecting my stress levels too much - I think this morning would have stressed me out regardless of the amount of artficial mood-enhancers in my lungs/veins - I'm just having to find new ways to unwind. For example, today I decided that half an hour laying on the sofa under a blanket and watching Tribe would be a perfect remedy. It was.
So my first day off in ages has been much less productive than I thought it would be. Oh well xx
Friday, 19 February 2010
Wednesday, 17 February 2010
The Lent Experiment
So yesterday was pancake day, and I completely forgot until the late afternoon once in the midst of essay hell and it was too late to haul-ass to Sainsbury's to buy pancake mix. This is a total shame as it is one of my favourite days of the year. Not only because you get to eat copious amounts of pancakes (yum) but you also get to stuff your face without feeling guilty. It is traditionally the day in which you prepare for the period of self-denial known as Lent.
Last year I gave up chocolate for Lent. Unfortunately this ended about a week in after I completely forgot and baked a whole bunch of chocolate chip cookies. Ooops. The year before I gave up caffeine which only resulted in me being a nightmarish creature - I think just about everybody was offering to buy me coffee just to put an end to my murderous mood. However, in 2010 I have decided to step up my game a little and give up cigarettes AND alcohol for the forty day lent period. I have been trying to give up cigarettes for about three years and even after my most successful attempt that I began on New Years' Eve, I have found myself succumbing to the temptation of the foul-smelling, evil, wonderful, beautiful, disgusting habit. So I am hoping that if I can get through these forty days, I will be able to kick it forever. Also, I have been drinking moderately heavily pretty much solidly since the age of 22, so it would be good to give my body a rest also.
As I am always partial to a good experiment, I yesterday made a list of all of my physical, mental and emotional characteristics, so that I can see if any of them improve as a result of this period of abstinence. I have two things that I must try to do during this period. 1. Not give into temptation under any circumstances. 2. Not replace cigarettes and alcohol with food. I will be keeping a daily journal of my progress, snippets of which I will add into the blog. So wish me luck!
Also, in an act of support, Ollie has decided to give up meat for 40 days which Im sure will also be very challenging. We walked past the hog roast stand in Dulwich this morning and I could see him salivating. I think I will need to take him out for a great big steak at Easter xx
Last year I gave up chocolate for Lent. Unfortunately this ended about a week in after I completely forgot and baked a whole bunch of chocolate chip cookies. Ooops. The year before I gave up caffeine which only resulted in me being a nightmarish creature - I think just about everybody was offering to buy me coffee just to put an end to my murderous mood. However, in 2010 I have decided to step up my game a little and give up cigarettes AND alcohol for the forty day lent period. I have been trying to give up cigarettes for about three years and even after my most successful attempt that I began on New Years' Eve, I have found myself succumbing to the temptation of the foul-smelling, evil, wonderful, beautiful, disgusting habit. So I am hoping that if I can get through these forty days, I will be able to kick it forever. Also, I have been drinking moderately heavily pretty much solidly since the age of 22, so it would be good to give my body a rest also.
As I am always partial to a good experiment, I yesterday made a list of all of my physical, mental and emotional characteristics, so that I can see if any of them improve as a result of this period of abstinence. I have two things that I must try to do during this period. 1. Not give into temptation under any circumstances. 2. Not replace cigarettes and alcohol with food. I will be keeping a daily journal of my progress, snippets of which I will add into the blog. So wish me luck!
Also, in an act of support, Ollie has decided to give up meat for 40 days which Im sure will also be very challenging. We walked past the hog roast stand in Dulwich this morning and I could see him salivating. I think I will need to take him out for a great big steak at Easter xx
Monday, 15 February 2010
Anti-Valentines
So Sunday morning Ollie and I got up before it was light for our super-early drive back to Southampton. Our prediction that most people would be tucked up having Valentines breakfast in bed whilst listening to power ballads was right - the roads were clear and we made it back here in under two hours. The journey was ace, although it soured when once we got out of London and lost the signal of the radio station we were listening to and had to endure cliched love songs and sickening dedications on Radio 2.
Valentines Day has never really been something that either of us have done, I think the most into it we ever got was when Ollie sent some flowers to the house when he was touring in the US, but ordinarily we try to have something of an anti-Valentines. This year was no exception. Ou Valentines day was spent in my parents' local country pub celebrating Papa's birthday and before heading back to their house to eat Chinese food and the coffee-flavoured birthday cake I spent the afternoon making for them. Today Ollie and I went to visit my Nan for more food and a HELL of a lot of tea (she sure knows how to make it though, so I can't complain). I'm currently camped out on the sofa at Ollie's parents' house, reading yesterday's Sunday Times supplmements and hanging out with my favourite furry friend Baxter.
There's something nice about occasionally getting out of London for the weekend and spending time with family. It's definitely worth forsaking partaking in the commercial exploitation and pointlessness that is Valentines day for xx
Valentines Day has never really been something that either of us have done, I think the most into it we ever got was when Ollie sent some flowers to the house when he was touring in the US, but ordinarily we try to have something of an anti-Valentines. This year was no exception. Ou Valentines day was spent in my parents' local country pub celebrating Papa's birthday and before heading back to their house to eat Chinese food and the coffee-flavoured birthday cake I spent the afternoon making for them. Today Ollie and I went to visit my Nan for more food and a HELL of a lot of tea (she sure knows how to make it though, so I can't complain). I'm currently camped out on the sofa at Ollie's parents' house, reading yesterday's Sunday Times supplmements and hanging out with my favourite furry friend Baxter.
There's something nice about occasionally getting out of London for the weekend and spending time with family. It's definitely worth forsaking partaking in the commercial exploitation and pointlessness that is Valentines day for xx
Saturday, 13 February 2010
Happy News
Am also very pleased to tell you all about the engagement of my dear friends Matt and Adrienne. Very exciting news xx
Dry Day
I am writing this blog possibly at the most tired I have ever been. You know when you get so tired that your eyes droop and twitch and you can't formulate sentences? That, right now, is me. I can pinpoint exactly where this fatigue has come from: two weeks of late nights and more specifically, choosing to meet Ollie and Matt in the Beehive yesterday after work instead of going home and sleeping before my double shift today. So I guess I have nobody to blame but myself.
It is now 8.30 and I fully intend to be bathed and in bed before 10pm. And on a Saturday night. Although in my normal universe this seems unthinkable, in the parallel universe I currently inhabit, this sounds nothing short of blissful. I have a Lush bath bomb and some clean pyjamas and that is all I need right now. I'm already swimming in alcohol so another day of drinking may actually tip me over the edge.
It is now 8.30 and I fully intend to be bathed and in bed before 10pm. And on a Saturday night. Although in my normal universe this seems unthinkable, in the parallel universe I currently inhabit, this sounds nothing short of blissful. I have a Lush bath bomb and some clean pyjamas and that is all I need right now. I'm already swimming in alcohol so another day of drinking may actually tip me over the edge.
Thursday, 11 February 2010
Some Very Sad News
When I first came to London and I was skint I took a walk down Bond Street, pausing by the Alexander McQueen window and promising myself I would one day buy this dress.
RIP Alexander McQueen - an amazing designer and true Londoner xx
RIP Alexander McQueen - an amazing designer and true Londoner xx
Balancing Act
Tallulah Bankhead once said "It's the good girls who write the diaries because the bad girls don't have the time." Now no offence to Tallulah (who is one of my all-time heroes), but sometimes being good will restrict your time also. And sometimes the combination of both good and bad behaviour can be responsible for neglecting your diary/journal/blog. The last couple of weeks this combination has been my downfall and led to me doing no writing whatsoever. Confused? Let me explain.
Since the whole ordeal of Christmas became officially over, it has become increasingly difficult to return to a new routine. I still can't put my finger on why this is, but I have found myself becoming quite frustrated about how I didn't have everything in my life completely under my own control. To combat this, I began embarking on completely impossible projects to attempt to turn myself into an organised human being. This luckily came to a halt before I went completely insane when a friend told me that in fact nobody is completely in control of their own life and that I was just the same as most other people who feel like they are losing it. And these words were coming from the most Superwoman-esque person I know.
So then I decided that I was just actually going to chill out a bit and not worry. Which was great until things began to pile up when I neglected stuff I had to do in favour of the pub or an old movie marathon and I started running really low on money as I hadn't found a part-time job. Then it occurred to me that that the most difficult thing for me to do was to find the middle ground. I have always kind of been this all-or-nothing person who is completely unable to do anything in moderation. This is why my weight continually fluctuates, why I cannot be a social smoker and why I often change my mood every hour on the hour. So in order to combat this I have been attempting to balance one action with another. For example, eat a pizza but cycle to uni the next day. Chain smoke at the pub, no smoking for two days afterwards. Spend loads of money on a dress, don't go out for dinner for the whole of next week.
So am planning on living by this but it sometimes becomes difficult when life gets in the way. For example, the last week has been a crazy hectic time of uni, work, essays and various social engagement which include over-eating, chain smoking and over-indulging in inebriating substances. And to compensate I have been completely virtuous when it comes to managing the home, have been reading a whole bunch of books in preparation for my dissertation and have been cycling back and forth to New Cross in arctic weather conditions. So THIS is why I haven't been writing. It doesn't even make much sense to me, so I doubt it will to many of you.
In other news, am planning a trip to South America for 2012. I know it's a really long way away but it will cost £4,000 and I need to SAVE xx
Since the whole ordeal of Christmas became officially over, it has become increasingly difficult to return to a new routine. I still can't put my finger on why this is, but I have found myself becoming quite frustrated about how I didn't have everything in my life completely under my own control. To combat this, I began embarking on completely impossible projects to attempt to turn myself into an organised human being. This luckily came to a halt before I went completely insane when a friend told me that in fact nobody is completely in control of their own life and that I was just the same as most other people who feel like they are losing it. And these words were coming from the most Superwoman-esque person I know.
So then I decided that I was just actually going to chill out a bit and not worry. Which was great until things began to pile up when I neglected stuff I had to do in favour of the pub or an old movie marathon and I started running really low on money as I hadn't found a part-time job. Then it occurred to me that that the most difficult thing for me to do was to find the middle ground. I have always kind of been this all-or-nothing person who is completely unable to do anything in moderation. This is why my weight continually fluctuates, why I cannot be a social smoker and why I often change my mood every hour on the hour. So in order to combat this I have been attempting to balance one action with another. For example, eat a pizza but cycle to uni the next day. Chain smoke at the pub, no smoking for two days afterwards. Spend loads of money on a dress, don't go out for dinner for the whole of next week.
So am planning on living by this but it sometimes becomes difficult when life gets in the way. For example, the last week has been a crazy hectic time of uni, work, essays and various social engagement which include over-eating, chain smoking and over-indulging in inebriating substances. And to compensate I have been completely virtuous when it comes to managing the home, have been reading a whole bunch of books in preparation for my dissertation and have been cycling back and forth to New Cross in arctic weather conditions. So THIS is why I haven't been writing. It doesn't even make much sense to me, so I doubt it will to many of you.
In other news, am planning a trip to South America for 2012. I know it's a really long way away but it will cost £4,000 and I need to SAVE xx
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