Balancing Act

Tallulah Bankhead once said "It's the good girls who write the diaries because the bad girls don't have the time." Now no offence to Tallulah (who is one of my all-time heroes), but sometimes being good will restrict your time also. And sometimes the combination of both good and bad behaviour can be responsible for neglecting your diary/journal/blog. The last couple of weeks this combination has been my downfall and led to me doing no writing whatsoever. Confused? Let me explain.

Since the whole ordeal of Christmas became officially over, it has become increasingly difficult to return to a new routine. I still can't put my finger on why this is, but I have found myself becoming quite frustrated about how I didn't have everything in my life completely under my own control. To combat this, I began embarking on completely impossible projects to attempt to turn myself into an organised human being. This luckily came to a halt before I went completely insane when a friend told me that in fact nobody is completely in control of their own life and that I was just the same as most other people who feel like they are losing it. And these words were coming from the most Superwoman-esque person I know.

So then I decided that I was just actually going to chill out a bit and not worry. Which was great until things began to pile up when I neglected stuff I had to do in favour of the pub or an old movie marathon and I started running really low on money as I hadn't found a part-time job. Then it occurred to me that that the most difficult thing for me to do was to find the middle ground. I have always kind of been this all-or-nothing person who is completely unable to do anything in moderation. This is why my weight continually fluctuates, why I cannot be a social smoker and why I often change my mood every hour on the hour. So in order to combat this I have been attempting to balance one action with another. For example, eat a pizza but cycle to uni the next day. Chain smoke at the pub, no smoking for two days afterwards. Spend loads of money on a dress, don't go out for dinner for the whole of next week.

So am planning on living by this but it sometimes becomes difficult when life gets in the way. For example, the last week has been a crazy hectic time of uni, work, essays and various social engagement which include over-eating, chain smoking and over-indulging in inebriating substances. And to compensate I have been completely virtuous when it comes to managing the home, have been reading a whole bunch of books in preparation for my dissertation and have been cycling back and forth to New Cross in arctic weather conditions. So THIS is why I haven't been writing. It doesn't even make much sense to me, so I doubt it will to many of you.

In other news, am planning a trip to South America for 2012. I know it's a really long way away but it will cost £4,000 and I need to SAVE xx