The dreaded lurgy has finally caught up with me. After smugly telling friends over drinks last night how "I never get sick", I now have all of the symptoms of a sick person: headaches, cold, sore throat and the inability to regulate body temperature. This has resulted in me spending two days in the flat feeling sorry for myself and venturing only as far as Barry's to stock up on more Beechams and trash magazines. Poor Ollie is also at home recovering from a minor eye operation, so the two of us are feeling a little pathetic at the moment.
However, it is better that we are ill now and not in a couple of weeks when we are going to Paris. So excited.
Also, this is the point where I offer another half-arsed justification for not writing the blog for a couple of weeks. The truth is, I have actually been really busy. The history department at Goldsmiths have seen fit to pile huge quantities of work upon their students in the first couple of weeks of term. I thought this would be at the detriment of my social life, but previous commitments and obligations have been kept, so what I have actually sacrificed is my sleep and my alone time. This probably explains why I am ill.
So over the past few weeks I have been to watch Flash Fiktion play in Brixton followed by drinks in Ivans Retreat (sadly the lovely Laura was working and unable to hang out with us), I have been to Bristol for the engagement party of Simon and Natalie and for breakfast with Thom the following day, I have entertained friends and family and had many great dinners out and home-cooked dinners in. I am ashamed to say that I have not yet made it to Club Sandwich, although my early start on Thursday kind of prevents this. My office is not very hangover-friendly.
So I fully intend to write more. But hopefully I will make time in my life for it, not just wait until I am housebound and bedbound xx
Thursday, 22 October 2009
Wednesday, 7 October 2009
Slipping Into Old Habits
OK, so it's been a really long time since I wrote anything - but in my defence, I have been really busy. I am even supposed to be busy right now reading for my Empires lecture on Friday but I am procrastinating. Oh, how I miss the joys of procrastination. Last year I stressed and stressed over deadlines and still managed to spend hours trying to beat my score on Geo Challenge. Oh dear.
So this is my second week back at uni and all is well. I have managed to turn up to all of my classes and have only had to endure one lecture hungover, which is pretty good going so far (avoiding Club Sandwich may have been key in this). I would like to claim that it has been an alcohol free couple of weeks, but I cannot. There have been two drunken nights in the living room of some fellow evils Sam, Laura and Mike which usually descended into us playing as much 90s tunes as we can find, downing multiple bottles of the 2-for-£8 wine (not, I might add, the 2-for-£5 - things aren't quite that dire just yet) and performing random acrobatics both in the house and on the street.
On the subject of 90s tunes, we finally made it up to I Love the 90s in Islington, which is somewhere I have wanted to go for ages. It was ace, I drank vodka and red alert and danced to Britpop all night. It would have almost been like the 90s except I am not fourteen anymore.
So I have three habits that I'm slipping back into: procrastination, midweek drinking and blogging. The latter is certainly a good habit and I am as yet undecided on the other two. I guess in a weird way they are all linked. So more blogs can be expected in future.
This has been vague and a little random. I think this is because I know there is something else I should be doing right now. Will make much more of an effort next time. Done. xx
So this is my second week back at uni and all is well. I have managed to turn up to all of my classes and have only had to endure one lecture hungover, which is pretty good going so far (avoiding Club Sandwich may have been key in this). I would like to claim that it has been an alcohol free couple of weeks, but I cannot. There have been two drunken nights in the living room of some fellow evils Sam, Laura and Mike which usually descended into us playing as much 90s tunes as we can find, downing multiple bottles of the 2-for-£8 wine (not, I might add, the 2-for-£5 - things aren't quite that dire just yet) and performing random acrobatics both in the house and on the street.
On the subject of 90s tunes, we finally made it up to I Love the 90s in Islington, which is somewhere I have wanted to go for ages. It was ace, I drank vodka and red alert and danced to Britpop all night. It would have almost been like the 90s except I am not fourteen anymore.
So I have three habits that I'm slipping back into: procrastination, midweek drinking and blogging. The latter is certainly a good habit and I am as yet undecided on the other two. I guess in a weird way they are all linked. So more blogs can be expected in future.
This has been vague and a little random. I think this is because I know there is something else I should be doing right now. Will make much more of an effort next time. Done. xx
Saturday, 26 September 2009
Friday, 25 September 2009
The Friday Feeling
Yesterday was such a completely unexciting day that last night when I sat down to write my blog, I actually fell asleep. So I've figured that actually I shouldn't be so hard on myself as there is a fatal flaw to blogging: When my life is being interesting enough to write about I never have time (or am not sober enough - see disasterous last post), and when I do have time to write, nothing exciting has happened. Maybe I am not, after all, the worst blogger in the world. I am just spare time-deprived.
So yesterday was truly dull. Really. I went to work and then I went home. Wednesday was much more fun - went to a free screening of The Wizard of Oz at MoreLondon with Sam and Matt. It rained, I became numb from sitting on the concrete, but it was all good. So much so that I am planning on going back next Wednesday to watch Strictly Ballroom, probably sans Ollie as kitsch Australian comedies are not his thing - how is this possible?
So today is my last day at Fight for Sight. I had decided to make one of the lovely flourless chocolate cakes from the Daring Bakers recipes, but in my shattered state last night it all went horribly wrong. So am at work (currently on lunch) trying to tie up all of the loose ends at my desk. I am sorry to be leaving as I've had lots of fun times here, but I am also glad to be going back to Uni and the world of lie-ins, midweek drinking binges and 'study' time in the Goldsmiths student union.
Will I ever be ready to give up student life? Probably not. For now I will just click my office-friendly sensible ruby slippers and return home.
You're out of the woods
You're out of the dark
You're out of the night
Step into the sun
Step into the light
So yesterday was truly dull. Really. I went to work and then I went home. Wednesday was much more fun - went to a free screening of The Wizard of Oz at MoreLondon with Sam and Matt. It rained, I became numb from sitting on the concrete, but it was all good. So much so that I am planning on going back next Wednesday to watch Strictly Ballroom, probably sans Ollie as kitsch Australian comedies are not his thing - how is this possible?
So today is my last day at Fight for Sight. I had decided to make one of the lovely flourless chocolate cakes from the Daring Bakers recipes, but in my shattered state last night it all went horribly wrong. So am at work (currently on lunch) trying to tie up all of the loose ends at my desk. I am sorry to be leaving as I've had lots of fun times here, but I am also glad to be going back to Uni and the world of lie-ins, midweek drinking binges and 'study' time in the Goldsmiths student union.
Will I ever be ready to give up student life? Probably not. For now I will just click my office-friendly sensible ruby slippers and return home.
You're out of the woods
You're out of the dark
You're out of the night
Step into the sun
Step into the light
Wednesday, 23 September 2009
Share and Share Alike
It feels good to get things off your chest. Especially with friends and a glass of wine. It reminds you that you aren't always completely mental and that actually...you are fine.
It's good to know.
For the first time in ages I am a happy drunk and not a distressed drunk. I just realised though that a cheese sandwich before bed is probably a mistake. Expect a blog about my weird dreams tomorrow.
Going to get tattoos soon - yay.
Life = not as bad as I sometimes think xx
It's good to know.
For the first time in ages I am a happy drunk and not a distressed drunk. I just realised though that a cheese sandwich before bed is probably a mistake. Expect a blog about my weird dreams tomorrow.
Going to get tattoos soon - yay.
Life = not as bad as I sometimes think xx
Monday, 21 September 2009
Post-Meltdown Analysis
I think whatever has been bugging me all this time has passed. This problem started exactly two months, two weeks and two days ago - on my return from South East Asia. When on the plane from Hong Kong back to London I thought that I would settle seamlessly back into my life after my month of travelling and that everything would be OK. Instead, I came home to find sleepless nights and stress and just a feeling of being completely lost. How could things ever be the same after the month I had just had? And aside from this nagging feeling that I didn't belong anywhere, I couldn't find a way to fix it.
I feel like this problem has not necessarily been the root of all of the difficulties of the last few months, but has certainly affected how I deal with things. I found that when faced with a dilemma, I could no longer rationalise it as before and deal with it. I would just become frustrated and stressed that my life was no longer focused around having a good time on another continent. It sounds completely ridiculous but the bump back down to earth was enormous - and from a really great height.
Whilst away on my trip, I had my feelings hurt by a friend, and still cannot find a way in my head to sort this out. And I know that since I've been back I've been drinking too much, saying stupid and hurtful things, indulged in completely selfish and self-centered behaviour, been scatty and disorganised, had a short temper and have, at times, been completely impossible. All I can do is apologise and promise that I am on the mend. The answer is not to disregard the feelings of others around me, and I am sorry that it has taken me so long to figure this out.
I am moving forward. Just one little tiny step at a time. If anybody else ever feels as though they're having the same problem, try reading this. It helps:
Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
I feel like this problem has not necessarily been the root of all of the difficulties of the last few months, but has certainly affected how I deal with things. I found that when faced with a dilemma, I could no longer rationalise it as before and deal with it. I would just become frustrated and stressed that my life was no longer focused around having a good time on another continent. It sounds completely ridiculous but the bump back down to earth was enormous - and from a really great height.
Whilst away on my trip, I had my feelings hurt by a friend, and still cannot find a way in my head to sort this out. And I know that since I've been back I've been drinking too much, saying stupid and hurtful things, indulged in completely selfish and self-centered behaviour, been scatty and disorganised, had a short temper and have, at times, been completely impossible. All I can do is apologise and promise that I am on the mend. The answer is not to disregard the feelings of others around me, and I am sorry that it has taken me so long to figure this out.
I am moving forward. Just one little tiny step at a time. If anybody else ever feels as though they're having the same problem, try reading this. It helps:
Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
Saturday, 19 September 2009
Gemma the Wino
Oh dear, drunk again. If I spent as much time being productive as I did drinking wine I could probably take over the world or something (of course with Sam's help - I am no good at reading maps).
My brain has turned to pate and I am unable to write (Saigon syndrome, anyone?) so in my hungover Saturday morning pinot-soaked haze, I have selected some of my favourite drunken pictures to show that not only do I like a tipple, I indulge far and wide.
Mwah xx
DRUNK IN LONDON:
DRUNK IN MONTREAL:
DRUNK IN TOKYO:
DRUNK IN BERLIN:
DRUNK IN PHNOM PENH:
My brain has turned to pate and I am unable to write (Saigon syndrome, anyone?) so in my hungover Saturday morning pinot-soaked haze, I have selected some of my favourite drunken pictures to show that not only do I like a tipple, I indulge far and wide.
Mwah xx
DRUNK IN LONDON:
DRUNK IN MONTREAL:
DRUNK IN TOKYO:
DRUNK IN BERLIN:
DRUNK IN PHNOM PENH:
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